Where have all the lesbos gone?!

So the other night Ang and I were laying in bed talking about anything and everything. The conversation we had is one that has come up many of times between us. It goes like this pretty much. We somehow get to talking about our great friends we have here (which are all straight couples/straight girls) and that we are so lucky to have them support us the way they do, but that we wish we could find a gay/lesbian couple to become friends with. That’s the problem. We have a good gay male friend here who we love, but he is at a different time in his life. He is out with guy friends every day of the week and wanting to be out and about all the time and hanging out with us probably isn’t very fun! He is single and ready to mingle. We also have a few gay girl friends but once again totally different stages of their lives. We don’t know ANY lesbian couples. Their relationships last 2-4 months… It sucks. I feel like read all of your guy’s blogs and it seems like you all have close lesbian couples that live close and are a good support system for you guys. I’m so jealous. We just wish that we could find a couple that are doing/going through the same thing as we are, that live in the same city as us. We often feel like we are the only ones in the world going through this (which obviously isn’t true, that’s why I blog). I don’t even know how we would go about meeting other couples. Then I think about when baby is born, it would be nice to have play dates or get together with other families like ours, but have no idea how that would work. Does anyone else feel like this, or are we really the only un-lucky ones that don’t have anyone local?! Am I being silly to over think this/want this connection?? I feel like this post was a bunch of rambling..!

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13 responses to “Where have all the lesbos gone?!

  1. I used to feel the smae way before we moved. We had tons of straight couple friends with kids but no families like ours. Since we moved we met a few families like ours and I'm so happy about that. Is there any meetup groups in your area?

  2. Isa

    I'd second the suggestion of looking at meetup.com–that's where I met a number of my lesbian friends. Also, see if there are any rainbow families kind of groups–statistically speaking there are at least a few other gay families in your area–you just have to hunt them down! If there aren't any groups already, maybe set up a meetup group yourself?

  3. I hear ya! My wife and I go through the same thing sometimes. It'd be nice to meet normal couples in our area. We've been married for a few years now but everyone else is dating for a few months. Sucks!

  4. Love your blog. My wifey and I are just starting the TTC process and your blog was a breath of fresh air. All the other blogs I've been reading were depressing me… TTC for 2 to 3 years, IVF, miscarriages – I was freaking out. I agree with this post 100%. We live in Roseville, CA (25 min outside Sac) and we have a few great couple friends. But no real lesbo couple friends – nor anyone who can releate to this stage of our lives. Congratulations on your little baby. Shanna

  5. H2

    We don't have ANY family-lesbians around here. None. It sucks. Blog friends are pretty much it. And there aren't any meetup groups in our area. I hope you find some.

  6. We don't know any lesbian families either, but I don't feel like anything is missing because of it. I have lots of mother friends and non mother friends.We do go to a 'Rainbow families' gay parent meet up, but the couples there we do not click with, plus most of them co-parent with men and I am in a fragile place right now, and they often tell me I am selfish for not involving Charlie's bio father more.I get my community from blogging and a forum on babycenter.I bet if we lived near each other, we would get on well 🙂

  7. Aw, Darc… I wish we lived closer to each other. We don't have any friends our age, really, let alone ones with kids or a "grown-up" life. Since Brandon works so much, I feel stranded on an island with no other adults to talk to and no way to get away from the kids ever. I love them, of course, but everyone needs a little "me" time once in a while, if not only for good mental health. I know I'm not the only young mom around, but for some reason I can't seem to find/meet any of them. The moms in my playgroup are all in their 40's… They're pleasant-ish to be around, but its just not the same as being around people your own age whom you might actually have something in common with. Can't wait to see you in a couple of weeks! Hang in there 🙂

  8. We have very few lesbian friends that are in committed relationships. I have one lesbian friend that is in her 40's, has 6 kids that range from 25-2 1/2. The youngest 2 she had with 2 different women. But I never hang out with her & her partner, just her. We have never hung out as couples. I found a group for lesbian Moms on meetup.com but they were an hour away and I never wanted to go by myself so I never went to anything and then the group fell apart. I guess no one wanted to manage the group and pay the group fees. So I'm right there with you. 😦

  9. I totally agree with you!! I always think it would be so nice to have a mommy lesbian group where you could all talk about how everyone is dealing with different things. I did notice Shannon (above) said she was from Roseville, I am from Sacramento Ca so there is hope there are others around! Shannon do u hae a blog? =)

  10. I totally hear you!! We moved here almost 2 years ago and all of our friends are my straight friends from high school. I love them, but it would be so nice to have other lesbian friends-especially ones with kids. Isa (our older daughter) needs to see other families like ours. I'm on the hunt. 🙂 You might also want to check out babycenter.com- the LGBT Parenting or Pregnancy group.

  11. We do have lesbian couple friends and love them dearly. On the other hand, the majority of people we feel closest too are NOT lesbian couples. I have a lot of acquaintances who are lesbian parents and there is one lesbian mommy couple in our circle of lesbian friends on my side, but I wouldn't trade any of them for any of my dear friends who are mothers in hetero relationships.It might be the age thing, though. We're in our late 30s (well Tam's 40 now) and both lesbian couples we are closest to are just now maybe thinking about children. When we were in our 20s? No way! Tam and I were both among those serial monogamist party girl lesbians you know, lifetimes away from thinking of anything close to starting a family.

  12. I just found your blog and it's so cute! 😀 We are *almost* at the point of TTC (it's alllll in my blog).I have been on the hunt for other mommy couples. I live in a big city with an active queer community, and they all come out of the woodwork at the Dyke March and the Pride Parade every summer, but I *cannot* find them the rest of the year. That being said, my wife was straight before she met me (and came with the requisite toaster oven and knife set), so she's never had the connection to the queer community that I grew up with (this is my 10th anniversary of "coming out!").My best friend, who is queer, is currently dating a man (a very lovely man!), and she feels the same as I do.I miss it, but I don't have to explain myself to my straight friends here, except for the usual question of "so who is going to carry first?". But I know how you feel, and it kinda sucks.

  13. Us too!!! You're not in the Ohio/Kentucky/Indiana area, are you?

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